D.R.C to enter the Twilight Zone?

In a dazzling and fearless feat of journalism, the Desperate

Readers Chronicle reveal plans of new traffic control around

Warner Road. So extensive are these plans that areas as far

a-field as Hoe Street will be affected, so audacious are these

plans they extend across Forest Road into the Priory Court

hinterland.

The area covered by these schemes is to become infested with

road humps and speed tables, new one-way systems are also part

of this devilish plan. Driving the full length of Pretoria

Avenue will be a pleasure of the past. After studying the plan

one member of the news team will now need to take sandwiches to

sustain him on the journey to his mothers’ house.

Although it is feared that no car can traverse this area unless

it has a full tank of fuel, the Council regrets that there is

not sufficient space to build a filling station.

In the likely event of fuel exhaustion drivers are urged to stay

with their vehicles until the emergency fuel patrol van arrives.