WATER LEAK

Once again reporters from your very own Desperate Readers

Chronicle were on hand to report on another story of mega

proportion at Warner Road, leaving our Fleet Street rivals

foaming at the mouth.

As always, reporters were working to produce another magazine

of mind numbing brilliance, the kind our discerning readership

has come to expect, when some of the team felt water lapping

around their feet ( I was thankful that my wheelchair kept my

feet above the fast rising waters). Fortunately ace photographer

Mike Gower (looks like another award ....eh Mike?) was on hand

to permanently record the event so that our children will be able

to know how it was that day.

A huge fissure had appeared in the wall between the office and

DIAL (the keystone of support we all knew.... but feared to mouth

aloud). Water, from a long forgotten underground stream, began

to seep through this fissure and a bucket was strategically

placed to collect it. Soon the trickle become a raging torrent

and the brave attempts of the bucketeer proved to be woefully

inadequate. D.R.C staff armed with mops and buckets formed a

human chain of bailers in the hope of stopping the building

filling with water (how we wished that we still had the old sash windows,

they could have been opened to let some of the water out).

All that remained was for the team of North Sea Oil scuba divers

to plug the stream and recover the valiant bucket.

The heroes who fought this battle are far too modest to brag but

we know who they are

THEY NOW HAVE WEBBED FEET.

Stories of a robed man putting animals into a large boat in Pretoria

Avenue should not be taken seriously.

What really happened: -- a small pipe leak.