Mum’s anger management training

My mum had various anger management training with me which never included smacking me around the head and saying “Now I’ll give you something to cry about”. This rather stupid statement teaches kids about irony in a very painful way. Luckily, my mum was far cleverer than this daft idea.

Her main punishment was making you stand in the corner, this worked well with me because I stood there, got bored and generally ****

However, when my mum tried this with my younger sister she just stood there for about 2 seconds and said “I’m bored” and walked away, so short of nailing her feet the floor, I don’t know what mum’s do next. I suppose that is when they resort to “Get back in there or I’ll give you something to cry about” comes in. But being the paragon of virtue that I was, this worked perfectly with me.

Another system she employed, which I have now come to find out is fairly common amongst mums, was the kids on reins trick. My mum, as many did, used to attach a harness to their toddlers while out shopping which had the advantage of mum knowing where they were and also, not leaving them behind. I know the political correctness gang think it infringes children’s Human Rights to be on reins, but be real you people, any toddler worth his salt (Roman legionnaires were paid in salt, hence salary) can be yards away or causing all kinds of mayhem in the time it takes mum to take out her purse, open it and pay for her purchases, so reins are a good idea.

The added advantage was that when sulky children sat down and refused to go any further, they could be just dragged away on their bum. I found out this, to my cost, in Woolworths, which in those days had wooden floors and not nice ones like now.

A most devilish anger management was the psychological system which I found out one day when I was trying to put a tyre back on my Dinky toy. In disgust, I threw it across the room. Mum then said “Well, that made it work didn’t it”, I couldn’t fault her logic but it’s a thing I still remember to this day (it was a red flat backed lorry that I decided was Dave’s lorry). This is by all standards the most devilish of anger management, as it makes you realize that losing your rag doesn’t do anybody, least of all you, any good. It does also mean that your toys stay in one piece.