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A
teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She
came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She
read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow
full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'" The
teacher paused......then asked the class, "And what do you think the man said?" One
little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly, "I
think the man would have said, 'Fuck me! A talking pig!'" The
teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. |
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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria. |
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TEACHER: John , why
are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using
tables. |
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell
"crocodile?" GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L" TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me
how I spell it. |
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula
for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. |
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we
have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! |
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so
dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground
than you are. |
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting
with "I." MILLIE: I is... TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I
am." MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth
letter of the alphabet." |